Curriculum Vitae

Let’s face it, CV’s are a pain in the arse. It’s a simple fact of life that no one (in their right mind) can sit down to a blank page and feel overjoyed at the prospect of typing out their professional history in such detail as to make themselves a potential candidate for a possible job at a company you may never work for. It’s one of those essential masochistic pass times we, as humans, have manufactured around us to ensure we feel we have achieved something before we’ve actually achieved anything while also laying on a new layer of bureaucracy. Aren’t we wonderful.

Sitting in Canary Wharf last night, I was talking to a friend of mine who is helping me with my own CV. I expected a long drawn out discussion about how awful my initial draft was and that I couldn’t hope to gain any state of employment without sucking in my pride and whoring myself totally to the corporate machine that stands before me. This, in fact, wasn’t the case.

I sipped on my freshly squeezed orange juice (I’m on antibiotics at the moment you see) and listened as he clarified to me what exactly a CV needed to be. I knew it was a black and white representation of ones professional life but the simplicity of it’s communication of that is actually a rather succinct process. The profile explains exactly what you are. I am a project manager, a strategic planner, an international events coordinator and an intranet administrator. The employment history has to answer that. From 2008 to 2009 he/she/it managed projects ranging from this to that. Key achievements are just what it says on the tin; how did he/she/it add value to said employment. Education; several qualification, most of which are no longer even regarded with any respect. All very neat and tidy. All very compartmentalised. All very corporate.

It struck me that, just as a CV is a document you hold in your hand representing you as a potential candidate for employment, would it be beneficial to us to write multiple CV’s (like one does applying for different jobs), but for each remit of our own lives. Even just a general one we can use as a template for others (come on, everyone does it).

I guess a profile would read; He/she/it is a brother, a lover, a writer, a musician and a Doctor Who fan. Life history; from 2003 to 2006 he/she/it went to University in search of his/her/it’s self. Key Achievements; gained much reputation for sleeping around, although had one meaningful relationship and discovered he/she/it doesn’t like olives. Education; has one. That kind of thing. I must stress I am not talking for myself here, although I do dislike olives. Unless they’re in something. Anyway...

I thought to myself, how one often does, that people seem so utterly comfortable boiling down their skills, aptitudes, talents and achievements into a single side of A4 paper, yet when it comes to really defining themselves as people they wouldn’t know where to start. I think we should all apply to the lesser known multinational ‘Life Limited’ in the capacity of ‘A Person (holiday included)’ and contemplate whether or not we’d get the job based on what we have in our CV. If not then maybe it’s worth a redraft.