First Kiss (Last Orders)

Hangovers and I don't get on at all; we simply don't see eye to eye. Fortunately the one I'm escorting today isn't as bad as most but still it's a heady reminder of why gin is a drink best enjoyed in moderation. Megh, you only live once.

It struck me, while talking to a friend in the early hours of this morning, that physical contact is so unbelievably important in pushing a relationship on. Whether you're talking about a friendship or something more romantic, it's such an intimate act (in western culture anyway) which we now take so lightly. It sounds like I'm putting a lot of weight on something which many people would consider rather trivial, but I do think it's worth a thought. Even if it's just a pat on the back from a father, there's a certain affirmation which is drawn from actual contact.

So then, we come to what could be considered the most overlooked physical act of all, the first kiss.

I've never found dating particularly easy, probably because there's a load of expectations which we, as humans, have listed to make the whole process somehow more quantifiable. I'm much more of a quality man myself and don't have any particular 'rules' to follow or etiquette to second guess myself about, I just go with the flow. Through all this though there is still the fundamental problem of when one leans in for that first kiss and turns a polite, well mannered (often awkward) conversation into something more intimate and cozy.

In a world of sexual freedom, pre watershed orgasm's and tits around every corner (not that anyone is allowed to look at them), the first kiss is often just a casual (drunken) instigator to possible relationships (if the individuals have nothing better to do and stumble upon the notion that it might be nice to have some fairly easy sex slightly cheaper than whenever you go out drinking). If, however, you take the slightly more dated approach, and actually 'court' someone, it's a bit of a minefield of sociasexual manners. When do I first mention sex? When do I mention my last breakup? Can I casually touch their shoulder? Do I look like a twat if I talk about my type of person? What was the last book you read? Oh you don't read. That kind of thing.

I have explored both sides of the coin since my pubescent insanity calmed down and although I like a bit of 'wham bam whose your daddy', I have often regretted having done so too early on. Maybe there's something about the yearning, the imagination and the possibilities which possess you over a few dates that mean something deeper to me. Maybe I get too excited about where it might be going and end up fairly broken if it ends up with whoever it is eventually finding someone else. Maybe it's about 'winning' someone over (the power mad control freak that I am). Maybe it's the ease into the connection I like, no big commitments on either side until 'that chat' which is another issue all together. That last point however has a flip side as you are lingering in a bit of a grey area until you affirm what you have together. We are strange creatures aren't we.

I guess there are pro's and con's to any method of eventual climax (available while stocks last), but I for one think that the dating route allows more time to take in the scenery, to facilitate that connection and eventually succumb to seduction. I have always been an advocate of sexy being more exciting than sex, probably because it lasts longer and is slightly more forgiving.